New *April 1* Dill Pickle Large Saddlebag, Weight Weenie Pro Edition!

Just for April 1! ;)

Forget shaving grams; this amazing new design can lighten your bike by UP TO TWENTY FIVE POUNDS*, OR MORE!†

Let’s face it, randonneuring gear is heavy. All those fenders, steel frames, plastic bags to keep brevet cards dry, cuesheets, it all adds up to precious grams that just slow you down. Not to mention all the other useless crap randonneurs carry around, just because you have to in order to look like a real randonneur. Jackets, spare tubes, pumps, tire levers, allen wrenches, clean socks, spare batteries, reflective gear. And it seems like the bigger your bag, the more stuff you find to put in it! Wouldn’t it be great if all that weight just disappeared?

Well, now it can! The brand new Weight Weenie Pro Edition of the Dill Pickle Large Saddlebag. It has the same great features as the standard Large Saddlebag, and weighs even less! But the real benefit of this new innovative design is in how it cleverly reduces the weight of all that other useless baggage.

• The bottom of the bag is open, so that anything you are tempted to carry around will fall right through.

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• The exterior pockets are mounted upside down so that any heavy objects you place in them will be INStANtdiscardEd™®©¥

• For the deluxe model, interior mesh pockets are open at the bottom to help keep the stuff you won’t be carrying anymore better organized

• The brevet card pocket zipper has no slider, which saves an entire gram all by itself, in addition to the onerous weight of that pesky brevet card!

• The female half of the buckles are also omitted, because you wouldn’t want a girly bag. (Alternatively, if you hate men and think boys have cooties, you may request that the male half be omitted instead). And if the buckles are impossible to buckle, you will not be tempted to try and strap in and carry cinder blocks or lead weights.

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Of course, everyone knows that when bike stuff gets lighter it gets more expensive. The pros spend hundreds of dollars to shave off an ounce here and there. That makes the Dill Pickle Weight Weenie Edition a fantastic bargain, because at only $9,999 (not including optional extras) it costs less than $25 for every ounce saved!††

 

BUT WAIT! There’s MORE! If you order TODAY, you can also pre-order the up-coming UltraSecure Classic Vintage Steel Rando Bag™®©. You’ll never lose your stuff again, plus it is made of 100% vintage steel, so of course you have to have it for randonneuring. All you do is send me the stuff you want to carry, and you will receive your new UltraSecure Vintage Steel Rando Bag ™®© with all of your stuff already welded securely inside so that you will never lose it ever again!

ORDER YOURS NOW!

* When compared with a saddlebag containing twenty five pounds of bricks
† No, the phrase “up to twenty five pounds or more” is not especially precise
†† It saves twenty five pounds, see above.
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2 thoughts on “New *April 1* Dill Pickle Large Saddlebag, Weight Weenie Pro Edition!

  1. Hey, I just said it was vintage steel, I didn’t say it was vintage BICYCLE steel. It’s actually scavenged WWII-era scrap. And it is, in fact, welded. Dill Pickle Gear makes no specific claims about the actual composition of the steel. But it is very vintage.

  2. Emily, surely you must know that vintage steel cycling equipment is brazed, not welded. If you alter the design of your Classic Vintage Steel Rando Bag accordingly, I might just consider purchasing one. Also, can you please assure me that it is of Cro-Mo, rather than some inferior grade of steel?

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